Duck Tales.

How come we all know the wrong things to say, at the right time?

We're programmed, by nature, with two contradicting thought generators in our body. Everyone, and I mean EVERYONE faces this problem. Whenever we face a problem, we get two paths to follow, like the little evil and angel Donald Ducks, except, they aren't that boldly contradicting. One voice comes from the brain, the calculative part of our body, the one part where everything is supposed to follow a strict pattern and every problem is an equation. And this 'brain' manages to somehow send us one decision to take, a simple thing really, Mr. Cerebrum simply places an equation on his desk and then proceeds to solve it, for the most suitable outcome, brain-wise. Now Cerebrum is a no-nonsense kind of guy, one of those well suited, Ivy League alumni types businessman, and as such he thinks that way too.

Now at the same time, this same problem is presented to the heart. Now our heart is a beautiful thing. If our body was an open garden then the heart would be the free spirited hippie getting high on something natural and enjoying life as it comes. Quite the contrary of 'The Suit'. The heart simple faces a problem and provides a result which will make a man most happy. Most fulfilled. Its a self-preservation kind of thing, the happier the heart is, the longer we survive, the longer he can enjoy. For the brain, the more calculative decision we take, the more work he gets and boy does he love to work. Even before the idea is completed our brain already creates a million other result scenarios on which he can start working. Sort of like that over-productive ass hole in office.

So, back to me. Here's my question. Do I follow Devil Duck or Angel Duck? And which is which?

This leaves me in a fucked up situation doesn't it? One problem, two solutions. Its a simple decision. So I make it. I'm not exactly the 9 to 5, suit wearing, workaholic, but I always follow my brain. I look at a problem, I analyze it like an equation, and I keep my heart out of it. I make the most sensible choice, and I try to stick to it. Then I let the heart kick in and pretend to be happy with my decision. But that's where it all falls down of course.

Like I keep saying, you can either be right or you can be happy, I'd far rather be right yet happy any day. But I can't. Otherwise its one helluva way to live.

To: You.

I thought that I,

Lost my mind.

When you told me,

What you knew I would find.

And now I know,

So I can think again.

I decided then,

That's it's time,

And this has reached it's end.

So, Thank you,

For ending this.

Hurting me,

So I wont miss.

The pain you shared,

For love I dared,

Defy, my intelligence.

How could I,

Not see the lie.

Blinded by my heart,

And your arrogance.

Now as I go,

Just tell me,

Were you really,

What you said you were to me.

So, Thank you,

For ending this.

Hurting me,

So I wont miss.

The pain you shared,

For love I dared,

Defy, my intelligence.

Now its too late,

You've crossed my sword..

I'm leaving you to dwell,

On your hollow words.

Either way,

Just let it be,

You're dead to me.

I won't be the one to help you,

I'm not gonna be there to hold you,

I won't be there when you go,

I'll be the one to say, I told you so.

Thank you.

(Slightly ripped from a song thats stuck in my head. But the parts that are, can't be said any better than this. Goes to someone who used to be a part of my life. A big part. No longer.)

Let it rain today.

Is this just another day,

The clouds above,

Are gathering.

A slow and steady flowing breeze,

A cooling spell,

Of splendid rain.

Flowing words and fallen praise,

Another chance,

To wash the pain.

So please Lord,

Let it rain today.

Let the city sleep,

When it fills an empty day.

Let the rain fall,

And wash the dirt away.

The city needs a chance,

To clean its wounds today.

The growing hope on heavy clouds,

Its in the eyes,

That gleam so proud.

The wandering gaze at the sky,

As they hope,

For rain tonight.

The sky thunders, the sun retreats,

Pouring rain down,

On thirsty streets.

Gift of life and the seed of love,

Pouring peace,

And hope from above.

So please Lord,

Let it rain today.

Let the city sleep,

When it fills an empty day.

Let the rain fall,

And wash the dirt away.

The city needs a chance,

To clean its wounds today.

Lucifer/My Creator.

Steal a confession,

Out of my head.

I really don't know,

But it's been said.

You sleep forever,

Once you die.

Is there no one left,

Who will cry, cry.

Cry.

Should I go blind.

Die.

With nothing left behind.

Destroy.

What was born.

Reply.

To my creator, filled with scorn.

The time has come,

For our retribution.

Steal a chance for,

A final confession.

Hoping to find,

Your redemption.

Left to burn with,

Your final destruction.

Cry.

For all thats gone.

Die.

Just to be reborn.

Destroy.

With a glance.

Reply.

My creator. Give me a chance.

The tension is rising,

Its just overhelming.

As I sin again,

To ease the pain,

I will live on forever,

In arms of Lucifer.

When I die, die, die.

Cry.

But not for me.

Die.

I'm breaking free.

Destroy.

The memory today.

Reply.

What do I say? What do I say?

My Own Terms.

To everyone who tells me that I wont make it. That I'm being stubborn, arrogant, stupid. Who tell me to be realistic and stop dreaming. Who tell me I can't live this way. It's my life, I'll live it on my own terms and make what I want of it. Either support me from the sidelines or get the hell out of my way.

Living, risking, but never scared,

One step closer to the edge.

Nothing changes in my dreams,
I can go on, it may seem.

Iron will is never gone,
I am right, you think I’m wrong.

It’s not a story you can tell,
Taking chances, might as well.

Hold me while I’m still alive,
Just don’t hold me back,
When I touch the sky.

Let me die on my own terms,
Let me live and let me learn.
I’m not ready to sacrifice,
Somewhere in this world, is my life.

Looking forward I wont rewind,
Someday soon I will cross that line.

If freedom makes a fool of me,
Let me try and hope I see.

I will promise you one thing,
I will live up to my dreams.

Nothing ventured nothing gained,
Don’t wanna live for just each day.

Hold me while I’m still alive,
Just don’t hold me back,
When I touch the sky.

Let me die on my own terms,
Let me live and let me learn.
I’m not ready to sacrifice,
Somewhere in this world, is my life.

Remind me.

I walk the streets at night,

Till I get lost.

If it never reminds me,

Of you at all.

With an empty pocket,

And my guitar.

If it never reminds me,

Of you at all.

I like making faces,

In mirrored walls.

If it never reminds me,

Of you at all.

I like walking backwards,

Till I fall.

If it never reminds me,

Of you at all.

The Love that we had. The love that we lost. 

The love I held sacred, then you paused.

The more that I hold is more that I cry.

I don't wanna love... Just survive.

I like TV music,

And radio talk.

If it never reminds me,

Of you at all.

I like climbing over,

Empty walls.

If it never reminds me,

Of you at all.

I like unheard songs,

And drinking in bars.

If it never reminds me,

Of you at all.

The Love that we had. The love that we lost. 

The love I held sacred, then you paused.

The more that I hold is more that I cry.

I don't wanna love... Just survive.

Bound and broken,

I have to learn,

Some more.

Lost and shaken,

Like never before.

The Love that we had. The love that we lost. 

The love I held sacred, then you paused.

The more that I hold is more that I cry.

I don't wanna love... Just survive.

I like writing songs,

And breaking guitars.

Coz it helps me forget,

Who you were.

I like losing myself,

In the dark.

Coz it helps me forget,

Who you were.

Life in images.

Painting life,
Like a picture,
So we won’t forget.

Leaving out,
All the faces,
Draw the silhouette.

Tonight will end soon,
So let me paint you.

Cause my mind’s running,
In fear that,
We may soon forget.

Our only time.
So we try, and we fail,
Just to keep it all alive.
We wait, for the fate,
To turn it back, to the part,
Where we know it all began.
Right to the start, of this.

Searching for,
The keys of all the,
Locks inside our head.

Finding just,
A blurry picture,
Clear it up instead.

Won’t you try and lend a hand,
Just help me out.

Cause I can’t think,
Of the everything,
I might leave something out.

Our only time.
So we try, and we fail,
Just to keep it all alive.
We wait, for the fate,
To turn it back, to the part,
Where we know it all began.
Right to the start, of this.

Now it’s all,
Here again,
It’s all in my head.
And I will never,
Forget this day.

Our only time.
So we try, and we fail,
Just to keep it all alive.
We wait, for the fate,
To turn it back, to the part,
Where we know it all began.
Right to the start, of this.

There it goes.

You led me on,
Had me thinking we were real.

There wasn’t a thing,
That you would really feel.

I played my part,
In the sick game that you made.

I don’t need you now,
To find my way.

There goes the pain,
Weight off my shoulders.
I drop the chains,
Lightened my arms.
There goes the world,
Lost in translation.
You’ve lost your hold,
Over my emotion.
There it goes.

I know it scares you that,
I can be something more,
Than what you planned for me.

You may feel confident,
That you have broken,
The little humanity left in me.

But now I don’t need you,
Don’t need your games to play,
I’m leaving today

Now you don’t control me,
You can’t take away from me,
All that I am.

There goes the pain,
Weight off my shoulders.
I drop the chains,
Lightened my arms.
There goes the world,
Lost in translation.
You’ve lost your hold,
Over my emotion.
There it goes.

We’ve lost the feeling,
It has no meaning,
Just let it go.