Saturday, July 11, 2009

Duck Tales.

How come we all know the wrong things to say, at the right time?

We're programmed, by nature, with two contradicting thought generators in our body. Everyone, and I mean EVERYONE faces this problem. Whenever we face a problem, we get two paths to follow, like the little evil and angel Donald Ducks, except, they aren't that boldly contradicting. One voice comes from the brain, the calculative part of our body, the one part where everything is supposed to follow a strict pattern and every problem is an equation. And this 'brain' manages to somehow send us one decision to take, a simple thing really, Mr. Cerebrum simply places an equation on his desk and then proceeds to solve it, for the most suitable outcome, brain-wise. Now Cerebrum is a no-nonsense kind of guy, one of those well suited, Ivy League alumni types businessman, and as such he thinks that way too.

Now at the same time, this same problem is presented to the heart. Now our heart is a beautiful thing. If our body was an open garden then the heart would be the free spirited hippie getting high on something natural and enjoying life as it comes. Quite the contrary of 'The Suit'. The heart simple faces a problem and provides a result which will make a man most happy. Most fulfilled. Its a self-preservation kind of thing, the happier the heart is, the longer we survive, the longer he can enjoy. For the brain, the more calculative decision we take, the more work he gets and boy does he love to work. Even before the idea is completed our brain already creates a million other result scenarios on which he can start working. Sort of like that over-productive ass hole in office.

So, back to me. Here's my question. Do I follow Devil Duck or Angel Duck? And which is which?

This leaves me in a fucked up situation doesn't it? One problem, two solutions. Its a simple decision. So I make it. I'm not exactly the 9 to 5, suit wearing, workaholic, but I always follow my brain. I look at a problem, I analyze it like an equation, and I keep my heart out of it. I make the most sensible choice, and I try to stick to it. Then I let the heart kick in and pretend to be happy with my decision. But that's where it all falls down of course.

Like I keep saying, you can either be right or you can be happy, I'd far rather be right yet happy any day. But I can't. Otherwise its one helluva way to live.

Friday, July 10, 2009

To: You.

I thought that I,
Lost my mind.
When you told me,
What you knew I would find.

And now I know,
So I can think again.
I decided then,
That's it's time,
And this has reached it's end.

So, Thank you,
For ending this.
Hurting me,
So I wont miss.
The pain you shared,
For love I dared,
Defy, my intelligence.

How could I,
Not see the lie.
Blinded by my heart,
And your arrogance.

Now as I go,
Just tell me,
Were you really,
What you said you were to me.

So, Thank you,
For ending this.
Hurting me,
So I wont miss.
The pain you shared,
For love I dared,
Defy, my intelligence.

Now its too late,
You've crossed my sword..
I'm leaving you to dwell,
On your hollow words.
Either way,
Just let it be,
You're dead to me.

I won't be the one to help you,
I'm not gonna be there to hold you,
I won't be there when you go,
I'll be the one to say, I told you so.

Thank you.



(Slightly ripped from a song thats stuck in my head. But the parts that are, can't be said any better than this. Goes to someone who used to be a part of my life. A big part. No longer.)

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Let it rain today.

Is this just another day,
The clouds above,
Are gathering.

A slow and steady flowing breeze,
A cooling spell,
Of splendid rain.

Flowing words and fallen praise,
Another chance,
To wash the pain.

So please Lord,
Let it rain today.
Let the city sleep,
When it fills an empty day.
Let the rain fall,
And wash the dirt away.
The city needs a chance,
To clean its wounds today.

The growing hope on heavy clouds,
Its in the eyes,
That gleam so proud.

The wandering gaze at the sky,
As they hope,
For rain tonight.

The sky thunders, the sun retreats,
Pouring rain down,
On thirsty streets.

Gift of life and the seed of love,
Pouring peace,
And hope from above.

So please Lord,
Let it rain today.
Let the city sleep,
When it fills an empty day.
Let the rain fall,
And wash the dirt away.
The city needs a chance,
To clean its wounds today.

Saturday, July 4, 2009

Lucifer/My Creator.

Steal a confession,
Out of my head.
I really don't know,
But it's been said.

You sleep forever,
Once you die.
Is there no one left,
Who will cry, cry.

Cry.
Should I go blind.
Die.
With nothing left behind.
Destroy.
What was born.
Reply.
To my creator, filled with scorn.

The time has come,
For our retribution.
Steal a chance for,
A final confession.

Hoping to find,
Your redemption.
Left to burn with,
Your final destruction.

Cry.
For all thats gone.
Die.
Just to be reborn.
Destroy.
With a glance.
Reply.
My creator. Give me a chance.

The tension is rising,
Its just overhelming.
As I sin again,
To ease the pain,
I will live on forever,
In arms of Lucifer.
When I die, die, die.

Cry.
But not for me.
Die.
I'm breaking free.
Destroy.
The memory today.
Reply.
What do I say? What do I say?