Sunday, December 21, 2008

Tomorrow.

Did I lose the path,
Where is the road,
Where have I come.

All that I see,
Is sorrow.
Now what do I,
Who do I show.

From this day.
From my time.

Tomorrow,
Is another day.
Tomorrow,
There will be a way.
To find my own,
So let me roam.
Coz, Tomorrow,
Is another day.

When did I fall,
How did I stand again.
Does anyone care at all.

Do I need to find my way,
Do I need to search,
Tell what do I say.

Tell me my time.
Tell me today.

But, Tomorrow,
Is another day.
Tomorrow,
There will be a way.
To find my own,
So let me roam.
Coz, Tomorrow,
Is another day.

This day will die tonight,
And there is no exception.

Why should I wait,
When I can keep moving on.

I wont lie of my fortitude,
Lay me down, as I dream of you.

I hope that you can,
Help me find my way.

Its just that.

Tomorrow,
Is another day.
Tomorrow,
There will be a way.
To find my own,
So let me roam.
Coz, Tomorrow,
Is another day.

Sunday, December 14, 2008

Level up!

Congratulations!!

You are now level 21.

Strength +2
Intelligence +3
Dexterity +4
Vitality +1
Luck -2


New abilities unlocked:

You can now consume alcohol legally.

You can now marry. (*still in beta stage)

You are now able to enter casinos.


New skills gained:

Charm. (You are now more attractive to young girls.) Temporarily increases luck by 5. [only usable against females between 16 and 19.]

Graduate. (Passive. You now hold a degree.) Permanently boosts intelligence by 5.

Income. (Used in combo with graduate. Allows you to earn a steady income.) Money +5.

Higher Education. (Used in combo with graduate. Allows you to increase intelligence.) Increases intelligence by 10 over a period of 2 years. Stacks with Graduate.



New dungeons opened:

1> Corporate world.

2> City of self-sufficiency.

3> The death of Childhood.



In addition:

You can now travel to other cities.

Your presence now counts as adult supervision.

You can create your own family. (Talk to parent to begin this quest.)

You are highly resistant to night-time curfews.

















P.S.> Yes I'm a nerd. And still proud of it. The Geek shall inherit the Earth. And happy birthday to me.

Friday, December 12, 2008

A different revolution.

Probably the greatest ability of man is his ability to challenge his own nature and to be both influenced by and to ignore whatever inputs his surroundings may throw at him. Many a times this simple act can set a man free, or bind him down, depending on his ability to rationally deconstruct and create his own thought process. And by this I mean not ignoring the external stimuli completely, but instead integrating them into his own idea and thus creating a unique and individual idea altogether.

All around me I see people of average or higher intelligence who blindly follow whatever is fed to them, through whatever ways possible. Slowly I have come to realize that we are losing this essential quality that makes us human and that makes us unique, this ability to reason. The ability to comprehend and conclude based on what we have observed and to not just blindly read and accept. We hear how a man is made by the society and the people who make it, but I argue that man is made by his ability to stand against the same society and maintain his own ground, his own outlook. As many religious people say, all men are created equal, but we must also remember that even though all men may be created equal they are also created to be unique. It is not the process of creation, but the process of shaping that is more important. And this process can only be understood and perfected by shaping an individual with his most basic ability of rational thought.

Rational thought is something that can bring the world together. Though many people believe that rational thought is the demise of unity, it is the creation of individualism and the death of a singular aim, I believe that its different. Rational thought simply gives an individual to look at anything passively, it gives him the chance to make his own choice, and who is to say that his choice is wrong? There will always be people who will oppose, there will always be people who will revolt, but as long as they have a rational thought process not clouded by emotion or affected by external stimuli, then their own thought might be just as rational as the one they oppose.

People around us are used to being fed. They are used to being told what to do to such an extent that they now need to be told what to think. The human mind has become a sponge, it has devolved into something that only soaks and expels but does not care to understand or create. This has come to such a point that we people blindly believe what is told to us because, and only because we are unable to create our own idea. Inside all of us is the one thing that can set us free from this world which is ruled by what is around us. We have grown so accustomed to be influenced by what is around us that we refuse to look inside ourselves and comprehend. We let information enter and pass through without giving a second thought. And now it is time to think thrice.

There is an urgent need for people to wake up. There is a need for people to start thinking. I’m not saying stop talking and start doing, that’s a redundant statement when what we start doing is also fed to us. All I am saying is; start thinking, start questioning and stop swallowing. Unless we question we will never get the answers, and unless we have the answers we can never be considered intelligent. Our ability to question what is happening is slowly dying, and the time to save it is now. Question, what is around you and slowly the truth dawns, not the truth that someone else speaks, the truth that we discover for ourselves. And when we discover something ourselves, only then do we prize it beyond everything. The feeling of having found something, something unique, something different, this feeling makes us hold on to that discovery, and make it ours. Only when we realize this and keep discovering can we become more than what we are today. We can rise from this pit of apathy and blindness and we can finally rise to a new day and find for ourselves where our destiny lies. The human race will then become what it was meant to become, unique and sentient.

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Almost famous.

Now look what we’ve become,
My friend can you see,
How far we’ve come.

We were wandering alone,
Like a steady rock,
Not a rolling stone.

We were almost famous,
We were almost there,
We were almost stars,
We were almost famous,
We almost made it big,
Coz we stood apart.

Flying so high,
On things we dont know.

We almost touched the sky,
Slowed down time's flow.

Living it up,
Till we could live no more.

Standing up tall,
Waiting for that encore.

We were almost famous,
We were almost there,
We were almost stars,
We were almost famous,
We almost made it big,
Coz we stood apart.

Look out on the crowd,
Hearing them scream.

Screaming out for us,
It feels like a dream.

We were up on a stage,
We could have been gods.

And the music we made,
Will still live on.

We were almost famous,
We were almost there,
We were almost stars,
We were almost famous,
We almost made it big,
Coz we stood apart.




P.S.> This happens to be my 51st original song/poem/lyrics. I just noticed that after finishing and tagging the song. Its ironically fitting.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Stand together.

We all have some fears,
Some of them rule us,
Others dissapear,
Only to rise again.

We could stand tall,
And fight them,
Or submit to some,
Then what will we become.

Remind me that,
We always stand together.
Say to me,
We will always have each other.
I don't care at all,
You know it doesn't matter.
Coz everyone else is gone.

We all have something,
Within us.
Thats fighting us,
And what we are.

And when this weakness,
Comes and pulls you down.
Will you stand again,
Or beg for forgiveness.

Remind me that,
We always stand together.
Say to me,
We will always have each other.
I don't care at all,
You know it doesn't matter.
Coz everyone else is gone.

Will you save me,
If I turn into another,
One of those who fell,
And never rose again.

Will you help me out,
If I cry for you,
Or if I dissapear,
Tonight.

Remind me that,
We always stand together.
Say to me,
We will always have each other.
I don't care at all,
You know it doesn't matter.
Coz everyone else is gone.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Memories of yesterday.

Morning don't come today,
I want to keep,
Memories of yesterday.

I don't know,
Where I will be,
Tomorrow.

What if,
I have nothing,
To show.

Yesterday,
Please just stay,
Be my life,
Don't ever go away.
I can't imagine,
How life will be,
If this day,
Becomes just a memory.

Washed away,
In the rain that came today.

Watching them go,
Down the drain.
Memories are all that remain.

I don't ever want,
This day to dissapear,
Tomorrow brings,
A new fear.

Yesterday,
Please just stay,
Be my life,
Don't ever go away.
I can't imagine,
How life will be,
If this day,
Becomes just a memory.

Its the little things,
That make it float.
The little things,
And the day of hope.

Yesterday,
Please just stay,
Be my life,
Don't ever go away.
I can't imagine,
How life will be,
If this day,
Becomes just a memory.

Saturday, November 29, 2008

Time to lead.

With guns they speak,
Salvation they seek,
In the death of fellow man.

Holy war, they say,
Throwing bombs they may,
Relish the fear in our eyes.

The time has come,
Stand against some,
Rise up for what we need.
We rise as one,
Before we're undone,
Enough of being led,
Its time to lead.

From green grass and streams,
From the land of our dreams,
Look where we have come.

In the face terror and death,
Screaming and out of breath,
Can you see what we have become.

The time has come,
Stand against some,
Rise up for what we need.
We rise as one,
Before we're undone,
Enough of being led,
Its time to lead.

Patience we're slowly losing,
The wrong people we're choosing,
To take this country home.

Yet, the ones we choose,
They're worse than fools,
And yet they rule the world.

The time has come,
Stand against some,
Rise up for what we need.
We rise as one,
As we outrun,
Enough of being led,
Its time to lead.


P.S.> In light of current events, my band mates and I decided to create a song reflecting the situation. Although the final song will include a lot less of the prose written here, I think this one has come out well enough. The actual version was written more like a poem, without the chorus lines. But we will probably edit it into a repititive chorus for better crowd response, lets see what happens.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Borders of the Mind.

This little poem is my entry for The Open Space – Harper Collins Poetry Contest 2008. The theme is borders, and it suddenly struck me to write more about the psychological borders and limits we set ourselves, than the physical borders that we all know about anyway.

Its based losely on the idea of the previous song, but it contains several other parts which I had inserted in the original draft but could not fit to the tune that we set for the song. 

The poem is a bit different, not something that people generally open up to, very easily. The thought is a bit dark so I have no idea how its going to be received. Its the idea of going insane and reaching out beyond the borders of sane minds and crossing that border to free thought. I hope its worth a shot for submitting.


Once upon a time,
I had left my mind,
I crossed the line,
And the border of sanity.

I began to see,
Beauty of such degree,
Across this borderline.

All we have to do,
Is to cross that line,
The one that holds us in,
Inside a sane mind.

That is how I know,
The joy to be alone,
Yet never to be by myself.

We somehow only see,
What we choose to see,
We're trapped by sanity,
And its cruel confines.

You can be my friend,
Until the borders end,
Or until we get lost, together.

Deep inside my mind,
I can see the borderline,
The only fear that I hold,
Is of losing myself.

Buts once I understand,
The truth, it makes me pause,
As I realize that I never was.

Its not self destruction,
Its more about frustration,
At the limits of the world,
And the saner brains.

And now I can have fun,
Knowing I can outrun,
My own mortal oblivion.

Now you know,
Why people go insane,
You should know,
It helps to deal with pain.

I should know,
Cause, I have done the same.
Crossed the border,
Changed my name.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Insanity.

Once upon a time,
When I had lost my mind,
I could only think of you.

I could think I could,
Reach up to the sky,
I believed that I could fly.

You could never meet,
The people that I greet,
In my crowded head.

We could never see,
The things we wish to see,
We're trapped by sanity.

I can tell you why,
People go insane,
I can tell you how,
It feels to lose your brain.
I can tell you now,
That it helps to drown the pain,
I can show you how,
You can do the same.

And this is how I know,
So many a place to go,
Deep inside my mind.

And I can carry on,
In the shadow of a song,
As the light can move along.

Will you be my friend,
Until the bitter end,
Or will I lose you too.

No one will have known,
The joy to be alone,
And slowly lose your self

I can tell you why,
People go insane,
I can tell you how,
It feels to lose your brain.
I can tell you now,
That it helps to drown the pain,
I can show you how,
You can do the same.



----------------
Now playing: Audioslave - I Am The Highway
via FoxyTunes

Monday, November 10, 2008

Our Legacy.

In a world of war and crime,
All our innocence gets left behind,

There people and places,
And all of their lies.

Time and the chaos kept aside,
We are running out of time.

Think of what we're leaving,
Is it worth leaving behind.

Its to sad to stay alive.

When its gone,
Lost in this time,
The peace and all that divine,
We're drowning,
Lost in this divide,
This legacy, it is not mine.
I won't be alive.

There's peace and there's rest,
The sorrow in bloodline,

Everything fades at the end of time,
And we wonder who is mine.

Let the children look to our time,
Let them learn from this line,

I only hope they're alive,
Even if they aren't mine.

As long as they're alive.

When its gone,
Lost in this time,
The peace and all that's divine,
We're drowning,
Lost in this divide.
This legacy, it is not mine.
I won't be alive.




----------------
Now playing: THE DOORS - The End
via FoxyTunes

Sunday, November 9, 2008

Alakaday.

This is the band's first original. Did I mention I have a band now? Its basically four friends of mine who got together and while sitting and rummaging through my lyrics we ended up creating this band around 2 months ago. Its called 1-800 by the way.

This song is our first original, the others are edited versions of my songs Epiphany, Chaos and Second Thoughts(Never). This one's written by Sreekar, our drummer and Puneet, our vocalist, long before I joined the group of merry men. The song goes something like this.



Alakaday:

As I walk away,
I look over my shoulder,
To see what was wrong where,
Decided by insane days.
The contemplation,
My suffocation,
Can someone shed some light?

Let this pain wash away my tears,
And all my fears.
Its just the way that life works,
And so does destiny.

The one's I called friends,
Turned out to be my worst foes.
My self destruction,
Creeping frustration,
Its all because of you.

Let this pain wash away my tears,
And all my fears.
Its just the way that life works,
And so does destiny.

Let this pain wash away my tears,
And all my fears.
Its just the way that life works,
And so does destiny.

I deserved more than I could get,
But something told me I'm special.
Thought otherwise but it ain't easy,
May be I could do better.

Let this pain wash away my tears,
And all my fears.
Its just the way that life works,
And so does destiny.



----------------
Now playing: Death Cab For Cutie - I Will Possess Your Heart
via FoxyTunes

Friday, November 7, 2008

Long line of stars.

There's a long line of stars,
Right outside your door.

There's all these people,
Looking up to your floor.

The long line of stars,
Stretches out over the bend.

All down the streets of town,
I can't even see the end.

This long line of stars,
Is trying to get through,
This long line of stars,
Its all because of you.

Slowly they move on,
You seem lost forever.

Now you they're all gone,
Just as they came together.

This long line of stars,
They will never understand.

They will never know you,
As long as I stand.

This long line of stars,
Which is trying to get through,
This long line of stars,
All looking out for you.

Its time to move,
Time to leave now,
Lets go to the moon,
We can reach, somehow.

Escape, this long line of stars,
Which is trying to get through,
This long line of stars,
Its all because of you.




P.S.> I seem to have re-found my songwriting streak after a series of worldly wise write-ups. I guess having a muse plays a large part in what songs you can write, since this original song was Long Line of Men, and was directed to a certain smart female I have recently come to know (yes you Ms. Kolkata).

I just hope I can get the whiny songs out of my system so that I can move on to the other lyrics my band so desperately wants.

----------------
Now playing: Linkin Park - Dont Stay
via FoxyTunes

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Find a love.

How, can you not see,
All it is, all you mean to me,

The patience since you've gone,
The silence all on my own.

Don't you see me here,
Or do you see and don't care,

Its you that I hold so dear,
But its not you standing there.

You won't ever find,
Another love like me,
And if you would be so kind,
To just try and love me.

There are days when I sit alone,
Try to see through this haze.

Counting the moments you were gone,
As the moments slowly turn to days.

You reject all my desperate pleas,
You turn down my advances.

But I wont let you go with ease,
I'll try and take my chances.

You won't ever find,
Another love like me,
And if you would be so kind,
To just try and love me.



----------------
Now playing: CAKE - Long Line Of Cars
via FoxyTunes

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

A Series of Unfortunate Events.

This one's going to be a long post. And its going to comment on the one issue that’s got everyone around the world jumping off buildings and bridges. Yes, the economic meltdown faced by a certain King of the Hill western nation. A lot of experts have commented on it. A lot of experts have theorized on why it happened, how it happened and what to do. It’s amusing that all of these so called 'experts' suddenly seem to know so much about it, and yet they couldn't predict it for nuts. Keeping this in mind I realized that anyone with a little economic sense can trace the roots of the crisis backwards to a certain point. And here I am trying to do the same and get to the bottom of this downfall. If you don't want to know what it is that has the world in a tizzy. Then turn back now.

P.S.> This theory (if I may) is based on my views and mine alone. It has been influenced by a number of observations and as such is not a concrete law. I'm just a layman who saw a certain sequence in the time line which I felt the need to point out.



[1991-1995]

The roots trace back to the first Gulf War, back in 1991 before a certain trade body became existent which brought about free trade throughout the world. The war which began in 1990 started draining the resources of USA as soon as it got involved. Up till 1995 there was a constant strain on the monetary and military resources of the country. With a grand total cost of $61.1 billion it would be remembered only as moderately expensive compared to the current war. But what is important to note is that at this time, all the world economies were not as deeply linked as today. Since the concept of free trade was still to be fully realized, so the costs were covered and no other factors were compounding. However this war funds deficit would need to be covered by the tax payers and finally influenced the actual setting of world free trade in 1995.


[1995-2001]

Now lets shift to 1995, when GATT was disregarded and the WTO came into existence. This was right around the time when the first Gulf War had officially ended and a lot of people were mighty pissed about the money spent on a pointless conflict, but still a lot of people supported the war and all was well that ended well. When the WTO came into existence, the world suddenly became a flat economy, slowly getting flattened as world markets started accepting WTO and their own markets started opening.

Now suddenly the rich-and-influential-of-the-western-nations realized that there were a number of markets around the world in which they could put in their money and watch it grow. It was common sense to put your money in a growing economy so as that, as the economy grows so would your fortune. So these rich-and-influential-of-the-western-nations did exactly that and started pulling out their investments in war mongering and started pooling them into the apparent noble cause of helping fledgling countries flourish, while at the same time laughing their way to the banks.

All was well again. The rich were getting richer, the comparatively poor were getting comparatively better-off, and Al-Qaeda was getting angry.

When the first Gulf War ended, it left a lot of people dead and a lot of people angry. Since most of the dead were from the Muslim community, most of the angry belonged to that community as well. But the fault here was not on the community, it was on the war that was brought down on the community by other capitalist bastards to make their own profits. Under these situations, certain socio-political outfits decided to capitalize on the overall feeling of hatred and started planting seeds of uprisal. One Osama Bin Laden was getting ready to react, and one Saddam Hussein was getting cocky.

A few years after the WTO came out everyone around the world was busy in making money and a number of advances were taking place in the lifestyles and living standards around the world. One of the most notable ones which has a huge part to play in this is the Credit system. The system of plastic money and the creation of instant loans by banks in the USA and ultimately around the world. People around the world (and more specifically America) started living beyond their means. Essentially the credit card became a means of spending money we didn't have, and creating virtual wealth. This slowly began adding up, and I will move towards this later on. But keep in mind that the credit debt is slowly increasing as the time line goes on and other events take place. Right now there is a more pressing event in the time line which acted as the catalyst for one of the biggest factors in the meltdown. I think the date should be enough: September 11, 2001.


[2001-2003]

We all know what happened on this date, since it has changed the course of world history as we know it. This one event is probably the single most important event in this generation's lifetime and also the first snowflake which snowballed into the current crisis situation. When Al-Qaeda declared epic war on America, the USA reacted in a typical redneck way. They decided that since one asshole wants to mess with us, we might as well take down his whole country. And so they launched an attack on Afghanistan, with the aim of finding Mr. Impossible-to-find, and in the process make a complete fool of themselves. While this was going on, in the process of killing one person they spent a total of $172 billion, killed around 45,000 extra people, destroyed one nation's economy and then spent an additional few dozen billion rebuilding that same economy.

As this was going on some soldier glanced westward and saw an interesting piece of land with a whole lotta oil. And then he thought, since we're in the neighborhood, we might as well take it. So a certain American President Jr. decided to avenge the embarrassment faced by his father in the same office and created a few reasons to declare war on a dictatorship. At that time in 2003, the world opinion was biased towards capitalism and pretty much everyone supported this second war for their own reasons. The people supported their leader, the soldier followed his orders, the communists were happy they weren't being targeted, the investment bankers saw an opportunity of rebuilding another economy and all the industrialists saw black gold on the horizon. (Keep in mind the American credit card debt at this time was $73 billion and already $172 billion has been spent in Afghanistan).


[2003-2007]

Soon the Iraq war was in progress and the businessmen were happy, they had countries to invest money into and a war to entertain them, at the same time they were counting on the fact that once the war was over, all the oil from Iraq would help reduce their long-term costs by a substantial amount. But what happened since then has been the most documented and most ridiculed few years of the American Government. The government started facing opposition for the war quickly, and once the promised quick result didn't arrive the public became enraged and the government was quickly blamed. But the main factor in the global melt down out of this is the cost. (Overall the Iraq War cost $856 billion and a total of $3 trillion to the economy).

At this time, a number of economies around the world were flourishing thanks to the foreign investments. The rich countries around the world were investing their fortunes in a number of countries and these economies were again flourishing and re-investing in other economies. Markets like India were considered a gold mine investment and quickly the economies started going up. Slowly these economies started getting the jobs meant for America and people started depending on credit cards to maintain their lifestyles. Now the rich-and-influential-of-the-western-nations started getting richer and the comparatively well-off American started getting poorer and as a result started getting greedier.

They started investing money into any resource possible, the idea became that any rich person had the Midas touch and the assumption became that any investment will flourish. As such two things took center-stage; greed and stupidity. What was once a sound investor became overconfident and greedy. The investments became vast and the credit card became man's best friend. (On the time line we are in the year 2007 and credit card debt stands at $800 billion, the Iraq War is costing $856 billion and the Afghan conflict carries a $172 billion tag).


[2007-Present Day]

Now we reach the home lap. The year is 2008 and the world economy stands at a very precarious angle. Everyone is rich. Anyone can afford the high-life. The Iraq War is a disappointment. American unemployment is rising. Investments are diverse and international. The whole world economy is interdependent, and all markets around the world are inter-linked. A slight fluctuation in any market affects the world. And banks are realizing that the shit is about to hit the fan.

Suddenly, the bubble explodes when all the numbers add up. 8,281,000 people are unemployed in the USA. These 8,281,000 people are adding to the credit crunch. The War on Terror has cost the American tax-payer $3 trillion. American banks are sitting on over $800 billion in unpaid credit card bills and successful investments are a rare commodity.

All these factors are just the numbers, in reality all this debt was being handled somehow until 2008 owing to the fact that these banks managed to recover their international investments which paid back the dividends and the money equaled itself keeping the bank afloat. But in mid 2008, the investments saturated. The economies around the world stopped growing at an infinite rate and the dividends reduced. Suddenly the banks had no incoming money while the citizenry kept living on credit cards. Soon the water started churning and the banks started sinking one by one.

What happened next is economic history. It has been the culmination of a series of events in the last one and a half decade which has included a number of bad decisions. The main factors in my opinion have been the one's I stated above; war, greed, bad investments, credit cards and government policy. How they all snowballed into this shitstorm is what economy students will be learning for ages to come.

Monday, October 27, 2008

Preconceived Notions.

Every other day we meet some new person in life. Most often we meet such a person through a common friend slash acquaintance. And whenever you get introduced, such a person will always give you some constructive/destructive input about the person and his peculiarities. This is inescapable, and also the root cause of a number of problems with a lot of people. Because, when we meet this new person, what our friend is doing is implanting HIS image of that person into your mind, which leaves little room for you to make your own impression of the person.

The problem with this lies in human nature itself. We humans are essentially animals, and as such we have certain instincts. These instincts include at a primal level the ability and basic attribute of creating the image of a person to go along with the physical existence of each person. All animals remember an individual by the image it hold of him. Example: if you throw a stone at a dog for each day for the next 3 days, he will instinctively run on seeing you, because now there's an image in his mind that he should expect a stone on his head when he sees you. The human brain doesn't work much differently. Except maybe for the fact that it creates an image on a number of other complicated inputs.

By this I mean, we humans tend to create an image of a person based solely on what we hear about him/her. Most people will create such a concrete image that they refuse to let go of it inspite of all attempts to break it down. This attribute of humans to create an image based on external input other than actual experience is a very frustrating thing. An even greater frustration is the irritating habit of the human brain to stick to this preconceived notion of a person. We find it frustratingly hard to break the preconceived image created in another person's mind, and any person who has a preconceived image of another person will see all activites, habits, movements, talking etc in that color.

Many a times we even make a mental image of a person on the first time we see him/her. Though this image can be broken easily its still the human quirk of judging people the instant we see them. Nothing thrills me more than breaking this preconceived notion that people make as soon as they lay their eyes on me. Its the most amazing thing to break the image people make of you, and to have them create their own perspective of what you want them to know. Though each external element will always contribute towards or against this effort, I always believe in giving each person a chance to impress their image on my mind, and then its upto me to hold it up or break it down and make my own.

Essentially, we depend so much on other people's opinions of a person that we refuse to give that person a second chance at creating his actual image for you. Somehow we started giving more weightage to other people's opinions than creating our own. Which is why I find it absolutely interesting to meet a completely random person. It gives me a chance to create an untainted and unaffected opinion of the person based on my own experiences. Its a refreshing experience as I have recently found out. I urge everyone to try it.



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Now playing: Tenacious D - Kielbasa
via FoxyTunes

Monday, October 20, 2008

Let it out.

Don't you want to be at peace,
Don't you feel the disease.

Just wait for it all to end,
Or scream and shout,
Go against the trend.

Let it out,
Let it out my children,
Just let it out,
Let it out,
Before you let it grow.

Let it out,
Let it out my children,
Just let it out,
Let it out,
And watch the river flow.

Going crazy, going insane,
Living on a different plane.

All the anger growing inside,
Always being pushed aside.

Let it out,
Let it out my children,
Just let it out,
Let it out,
And watch it go.

Let it out,
Let it out my children,
Just let it out,
Let it out,
And watch the river flow.

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Change the world.

We chase the same sun,
As we try to outrun,
This life and its problems.

Maybe we should try to be,
What no one else can see,
Away from all this chaos.

We will find a better start,
From the pieces of my heart,
Another day is before us.
Cast your problems in the air,
Let the highway take us there,
Away from this world of disorder.

Are we afraid of where we've gone,
Is it the fear of the unknown,
That keeps us standing here.

In our lives we cannot choose,
What to keep and what we lose,
This is all just an illusion.

We will find a better start,
From the pieces of my heart,
Another day is before us.
Cast your problems in the air,
Let the highway take us there,
Away from this world of disorder.

Its time to turn our backs and run,
Time to walk into the setting sun,
Watch the old world disappear,
Break away from fear.

We will find a better start,
From the pieces of my heart,
Another day is before us.
Cast your problems in the air,
Let the highway take us there,
Away from this world of disorder.




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Now playing: Primus - My Name is Mudd
via FoxyTunes

Saturday, October 18, 2008

Flashback of a Fool.

A few days back, I was at a friends place, a party. And everyone was happily drunk/high. As is normal procedure at such get-togethers, the conversation shifted to some deep and philosophical topic. This time particularly, it shifted to relationships. As everyone was putting up little tid-bits about their relationship experiences, I suddenly found myself going back to a conversation I had with one of my ex's.

It was not much of a monumental conversation, I just remembered it for how pissed it made the poor girl, and with right reason. Lets call her 'A' for the sake of anonymity.

A: Vi, will you love me forever?

Me: Define 'forever'.

A: Until the end of time, baby?

Me: All time or our lifetimes?

A: Till all of time.

Me: But what if time isn't real? What if its just an illusion created in our minds just to keep us sane? What if time doesn't really exist?

A: Vi, I'm leaving you.



She didn't really leave me though. Just mighty pissed at how monumentally stupid I can get when faced with a question about commitment.

Love makes me do stupid things.

Not being in love, avoiding it.



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Now playing: Nightwish - Bye Bye Beautiful
via FoxyTunes

Saturday, October 11, 2008

The Final Moment.

My life, dangles on a string,
As I hear the bells,
They ring,
And pull me under.

Time, keeps going on,
Drawings of life,
And song,
That keep me longing.

Things, that make me cry,
The times that,
Passed me by,
Never looking back.

And yet you cannot see,
Everything comes to and end.
The final moment of me,
Is right around the bend.
And I love it.

Whatever, you meant to me,
The things that I,
Could never see,
Now I'm lost.

People, and the places I know,
They remind me,
Somehow,
Of days gone by.

And yet you cannot see,
Everything comes to and end.
The final moment of me,
Is right around the bend.
And I love it.

Complete clarity,
Comes in my final moment.
Lies and sincerity,
Confusion and regret.
Everything is gone finally,
Including all of me.

And yet you cannot see,
Everything comes to and end.
The final moment of me,
Is right around the bend.
And I love it.

Friday, October 10, 2008

A Hero among us.

Hope and pray,
That you may not need me.

But you do know,
That I've never let you down.

I walk beside you,
And you do not see me.

A hero among you,
Yet I don't wear a crown.

On that day,
When you need me there,
When you don't have the strength,
Your burdens I'll bear.
On that day,
When you cry for mercy,
I'll show myself,
Just when you need me.

Beyond the darkness,
And these city lights.

I stand alone,
Listening to your cries.

So many times,
You called out for my help.

And when that moment finally comes,
I won't make you wait.

On that day,
When you need me there,
When you don't have the strength,
Your burdens I'll bear.
On that day,
When you cry for mercy,
I'll show myself,
Just when you need me.

All the people crying in the streets,
People starving,
With nothing to eat.

When all you need today,
Is a place to rest your head.

Right here under my eyes,
You will be safe.

Standing to guard,
From the dark of despair.

Just look up now,
I'm standing right there.

On that day,
When you need me there,
When you don't have the strength,
Your burdens I'll bear.
On that day,
When you cry for mercy,
I'll show myself,
Just when you need me.




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Now playing: Alter Bridge - Open Your Eyes
via FoxyTunes

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Untitled.

I just want to know,
If you see me.
Its the one thing that matters,
Right now.

There's just one thing,
That I may be fearing.
Is if you would know me,
At all.

I'm ready to die if you find me,
And I'll live one more day just for you.

You're the one who can help me,
And I'll wait till know that somehow.

And this time I will let the world know,
That you're the one meant for me.

But all that I made will be broken,
What if we will never be.

And I just want to know,
If you see me.
Its the one thing that matters,
Right now.

There's just one thing,
That I may be fearing.
Is if you would know me,
At all.

I can't fight the world all alone,
It just seems like it brings me down.

If they wish to somehow break me,
I can't let you see me just drown.

You're the closest to freedom,
That I can ever be.
And it hurts me to just let you go.

And I just want to know,
If you see me.
Its the one thing that matters,
Right now.

There's just one thing,
That I may be fearing.
Is if you would know me,
At all.



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Now playing: Audioslave - Moth
via FoxyTunes

Saturday, October 4, 2008

Dependency Issues.

People seem so convinced when they talk about love and their relationship. Every person I know to be either in love or in a relationship keeps telling me about it. They keep harping how those two things are meant to be and one supports and replenishes the other and how it improves on something already so, divine(actual quote this one).

So I got down to study this so called love-relationship mechanism. And as per my severely twised outlook, I stumbled across a realization which had been long coming. I had known all along that there's something fishy in the business of so called love-relationship stability and interdependence. They aren't interdependent at all. Yes, its true that everyone feels those two things go hand-in-hand on the joyride of life. But infact it is also true that both of them can survive without the other.

Love doesn't need a relationship to take place. And numerous relationships keep going long after love has died, albeit begdrudgingly. Take for example the case of Romeo and Juliet, the eternal love story, the first epic win of Love over all odds. In their case, love didn't need a relationship to blossom. All that was there was Romeo loved Juliet and she loved him back. And their love lives on long after they died for it. In a more modern world there are so many cases of a love-smitten idiot longing and pining for someone who they can never have. Here also love exists without the slightest hint or hope of a relationship (I hope Megan Fox is reading this).

In the second instance of relationships going on without love, well you can see that everyday, people stick together for a number of reasons, long after love is dead. Maybe they stay together for the kids, or maybe a lesser reason. But their relationship still exists. Yes people will argue that such a relationship is but only a shell of a relationship when love is dead and gone, but I never argued the point that love and relationships mix well. All I'm saying is that they don't need each other to survive.

All I mean to say is, love and relationships sure mix well, but they don't need each other. They can be mutually exclusive. Its like coffee and cookies, sure they go great together, but you don't neccessarily need one to enjoy the other.




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Now playing: Alter Bridge - Break Me Down
via FoxyTunes

Friday, October 3, 2008

Let it go.

Keep your mind on the side,
Get your head off the heel.

Keep it down to a tone,
Get yourself another deal.

Keep the world on your knees,
Go get someone to love.

If you love someone,
Then maybe you will know.

Just let it go,
Let it go.
Lose yourself,
Just let it go.
Find someone,
And let it go.

Hold your heart in your hand,
Try to find how it beats.

Let your love off the leash,
Just let it find its own feet.

Sell your soul to the devil,
And watch it go.

Lose your mind,
Just so you don't know.

Just let it go,
Let it go.
Lose yourself,
Just let it go.
Find someone,
And let it go.

Let it go, let it go,
Kill your mind,
And let it go.
See what you find,
Just let it go.

Just let it go,
Let it go.
Lose yourself,
Just let it go.
Find someone,
And let it go.


Comment: In case some of you may be wondering, the song is about love. Its about how you need to lose your mind, body and soul to actually fall in love. Someone told me that I will never find my true love until I let myself go. This song is actually inspired from those three words and titled with it, Let It Go.

I'm gonna give it a try, lets see what I find if I'm not myself.




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Now playing: Pearl Jam - I Am Mine
via FoxyTunes

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

My Last Requiem.

I love the feeling when it falls apart,
I bring up just to watch if fall.

Watch the world go up in flame.
Maybe chaos is my call.

Could this be the end of me,
And all the things I know.

Maybe this is too easy,
There are better ways to go.

Let me go now,
Just let me die,
You know how good it feels?
This is the end,
Its my goodbye,
This is my last requiem.

How can you say I let down,
I cant believe I let you know,

Now I see my defense let you in,
And now you are under my skin.

With your final words,
Does it end?
Or do I wait for it to begin.

Let me go now,
Just let me die,
You know how good it feels?
This is the end,
Its my goodbye,
This is my last requiem.

Screaming in my head,
Its all the devils,
All the things I don't want to see.

In your aching eyes,
I understand the lies,
And all the grief within.

Will you let me go,
And let me die,
Do you have to win?

Let me go now,
Just let me die,
You know how good it feels?
This is the end,
Its my goodbye,
This is my last requiem.



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Now playing: Audioslave - Show Me How To Live
via FoxyTunes

Friday, September 26, 2008

The Perception of Reality.

A number of scientists and theologists have tried to bring a sense of perspective about the human mind and its workings. They have tried to bring about order to the number of thought processes going on in the wonder that is our brain. A number of said scientists have tried to use their magnanimous brains to try and make it understand itself. And along the way, as most experiments go, they stumbled upon a series of startling revelations.

These "startling revelations" created a window of doubt in the iron clad "Laws of Physics". Thus, from the workings of our brains, these scientists found that a number of alternative theories, namely Quantum Theories, had the scope to be proved in the understanding of the human brain. Now here is the body of work that most scientists consider the Judgment Day of Science as we know it. There are infinite possibilities in Quantum Mechanics and if we do try to look at everything at a Quantum level then all the theories and ideas imprinted in our minds from childhood science books counts for null. And there are a number of theories which I took a look at and have attempted to understand at some level. And this promises to be the first of various posts on the topic of breaking down science as we know it.

But let me take this post to a small but interesting theory which falls under the scheme of Quantum Mechanics. The theory concerns reality and parallel universes. Strap down your brain, open up your mind and give a listen. Scientists, physicists and philosophers have looked into the workings of the human mind and found that its capable of over 2 billion calculations per second. In reality we only use about 7000 of this capacity. The rest is being used to create unknown and unrealised thougt processes which we cannot even begin to fathom. Under this situation, through a series of expriments these people found that the human brain has the ability to project backwards and forwards in time(more about that later). And then they got a blurry idea of where the other calculations go. They go into creating alternate realities.

These alternate realities exist at every moment in our lives, and we make decisions every second that affect our selection of reality. There are a million alternate reactions to every small action we take which a normal human brain cannot look into. We consciously make decisions regarding which reality we wish to follow. As soon as we make that decision, what we want to perceive as reality becomes that reality. When we make this choice of reality and its perception, the other parallel realities cease to exist. There is a corollary which says there are means to contact and realise these parallel paths, but the human brain is still not so evolved as to do this effectively.

Now that all the boring science stuff is over, sit back and try to understand the impact of this on our lives. Try and fathom how much each of our actions affects the world around us. If you do a large decision try to go backwards and forwards in the time-space matrix and lookat the reactions, effects and possibilities of a different course of action. Reality is not ever-existent, the only reality is the one we choose to see, the one we choose to accept and live in. The definition of reality is quite literally the choice made by the human brain, and the ability of our less developed minds to perceive this comfortable reality.

Now we have scientific evidence backing our favourite theory that reality is just an illusion. Any relevance to the Matrix here?

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

My Failure.

In this darkness,
I will be your light,

I will guide you on,
I'll shine bright.

I'll take you home,
On the road you want,

You make it home,
I'll guide you right.

But you keep drowning,
In the dark,
Its my failure now,
Its my failure.
And somehow I feel,
Its just not right,
Its my failure now,
My failure.

I'll be the one,
The one to save you now,
With my only light.

I will save you soon,
Even if it means, I let go,
Of this guiding light.

All you mean to me,
I never knew,
Till you were gone,
It was too late.

But you keep drowning,
In the dark,
Its my failure now,
Its my failure.
And somehow I feel,
Its just not right,
Its my failure now,
My failure.

Ill keep you strong,
When you feel so weak,
Ill pick you up.

And the shadows move,
They show their might,

Its not their victory yet,
Its just the lapse of light here,

Don't worry as I stand,
Ill keep away your fear.

But you keep drowning,
In the dark,
Its my failure now,
Its my failure.
And somehow I feel,
Its just not right,
Its my failure now,
My failure.


Edit: Written to the tune of Late Goodbye by Poets of the Fall. These people inspire me so much that its not funny. I hope to play this song as I'm currently learning it on the guitar. Maybe i'll record and upload it sometime soon.

The tune sort of fits, just need to work around a few missing links and some tones. Will need some working and few weeks more practice on the guitar. Hope I can upload it soon.



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Now playing: Poets Of The Fall - Late Goodbye
via FoxyTunes
I think I may have peed from excitement a little when I saw this.

http://www.worldofwarcraft.com/wrath/intro.xml


Let the orgasmathon begin...

Monday, September 15, 2008

The Dogtown Wars.

Im currently working shortish-long story, something along the lines of SinCity and a very 60's cliched style of writing. This post here is the prologue of the same story. I'll be posting and updating chapters in a separate blog, after my exams get over.
So give this a read and tell me your views so I can work on it and update the story as it develops.

Chapter 1: Prologue.

The last thing I remember was the gunshot, but I couldn't really complain under the circumstance could I. I mean, I knew I was in for a rough time ever since she shimmied through the door. The light making a beautiful silhouette of her perfect body and that long cigarette burning a hole through my mind.

"Got a light?", the question sounded like a poem coming from her perfect red lips. I was surprised the cigarette didn't light itself at such beautiful words. I fumbled with the lighter before she came over, oh so coolly, and lit her cigarette. I wasn't too sure if it was the reflection of the fire in her eyes or something more sinister. I made my peace with the reflection argument, I would find out the truth later on.

There were a million questions running through my mind, "Who is she? Why does she seem so familiar? Whats she doing here? and What does she want?". I decided to start with the first one and work my way down.

"So, I dint quite get your name", very original, Casanova.

"Mylene" she whispered, "Mylene Rivers."

I'm sure she heard my stomach hit the ground. Guess that answers my second question. Now I'm not sure if I should ask the other two. After all, no one will want to be sitting face to face with the mistress of the biggest mobster in Dogtown.

Vadim "The Russian" Alexiev. Few people dared to cross paths with Vadim, those who did had been missing for a long time now. I did not wish to be one of them.

"So you either need my help, or want me dead. Which is it that brings you knocking on my door?"

"I heard about you," the reply seemed convincing, "The cops cant help as Vadi pretty much owns the force, anyone else, and I'm dooming them with me."

"Aah, so you DO want me dead." Maybe I shouldn't be so judgmental, "what makes you so sure I can help you anyway?"

Her answer seemed rehearsed, like one of those actors practicing their lines in front of a mirror a million times, just to get the emotion right, whatever it was, I fell for it; hook, line and sinker.

"I read your story" she said, "about how the Force kicked you out after you killed that kid, how everyone calls you mentally unstable, and how they say you are the only man who could stand up against the mobs of Dogtown."

"You're right on the first count, the second is just a matter of perspective, and as for the third, I wouldn't trust the people who told you that." I felt the need to clear her illusions about me. "What 'they' say is not completely true. Yes, I did take up a little battle against your 'loverboy', " I couldn't help but grin, "and yes I'm still alive, for the most part. But that doesn't mean I'm gonna get lucky again, and there ain't no way I'm putting my neck on the line for no damn good reason, even if the reason is a pretty dame like you."

She replied before I finished my point, "From what I heard, you dint get lucky. Aren't you the man they call Vic Sullivan? or maybe I'm looking for the man you used to be."

"That was a long time ago Miss Rivers. Times have changed, the mob owns Dogtown now, people disappear into the shadows and the body count keeps rising everyday. I don't intend to become just another statistic in the fight between the Russians and the Italians." Every word of this was true. These days everyone was included in the battle for Dogtown. You were either with a side or against it, each side either got you rich quick or dead quicker, it all depended on how good you were at killing people.

"Well I need your help Vic, and I know for a fact that you are the best man for the job. And if you need a reason, I'll give you 200 large for your help," She slapped down one of those thick brown envelopes which you just knew were filled with cash, "Thats a 100,00 , you get the rest after."

She did have a point, sure she was the Mob lord's woman, and sure she had the money in her hand, but I'd be damned if any man could say no once he looked into those beautiful brown eyes. Curse you, Mylene, I knew then, you'd be the end of me.



Sunday, September 14, 2008

Symmetry.

See the world in black and white,
Only in wrong and right.

You see only war and only peace,
Only broken and one piece.

You never thought there would be,
Anything out of symmetry,
And thats where you went wrong.

Seeing only two things in life,
Nothing you see in between.

You will never see clearly,
You only want complete clarity.

Coz all you ever wanted to see,
Was life in perfect symmetry,
And thats where you went wrong.

How can you only believe,
That we die as we live.

How come you can't see all the grey,
Nothing will change if we stay.

I tried to give you warnings,
But you always ignored me.

Now for your ignorance you pay,
It goes wrong, not matter what you say.

Coz the only thing you see,
Is life in symmetry,
And thats where it all falls down.


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Now playing: Poets of the Fall - Stay
via FoxyTunes

Monday, September 8, 2008

The non-conformist illusion.

The whole world sticks to its twisted and senseless ideals for reasons unknown to man. Most people will follow the system fearing to break out of it. And keeping that system in mind, those who break off from it will unknowingly fall into the same trap of a different system. People who try to bring down the system are not really destroying the concept of a closed system, they are just aiming to replace the current system with a different one. Agreed, the new system might be better than the old one, but sometime or the other each system reaches a stage of saturation and irritation where the next generation will want to bring it down.

No system can last everlong and solve all the problems. Each system has its drawbacks which become apparent over time, and once these drawbacks and flaws are out in the open, the new generation wants to break the system to be viewed as non-conformist by their peers. Thats the irony of the situation, people brand themselves as being against the system, while in reality the only thing they are doing is following a different system. Maybe "against the dominant system" is more fitting, but that still makes a person a conformist for a different ideal. Being non-conformist is just an illusion, and being truly non-conformist means being truly alone in your ideals.

The problem is, most people will try and break out of the system only to be viewed as non-conformist. Such individuals do not believe in the concept of a new system, they just want to break away from the current system so that people view them as "hip" or "cool". Lately I've noticed that the number of such "posers" is going up manifold. Its become a sort of affliction to want to break the system. And most of these people don't realize that they are becoming the sheep of a different herd. The only thing different is the scenery, not the freedom.

The world is ever-changing. And what was unique a few years ago becomes mainstream soon. The newer generation finds something else to call unique and that quickly becomes generic. Thats how trends go, once something becomes overly popular is becomes generic, and the next generation hates what was generic before them and they start flaming it. Within the next 5 years people will start flaming Google like they flame Microsoft right now. What will never change is the "in thing" factor. It will always be the cool thing to do, to rebel against the system. Even though it is temporary and nearly non-existent, Non-conformist is ever-cool.



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Now playing: THE DOORS - When The Music's Over
via FoxyTunes

Sunday, September 7, 2008

Music is my life.

When I'm down for the count,
Something keeps me up.

When I feel I'm losing myself,
Music makes me stand up.

All the sound I need to hear,
In the silence of the world.

Music can hold back the fear,
Its all I need for now.

Music keeps me straight and sane,
Music drives away my pain.
Music keeps me on my feet,
Music is all I'll ever need.

Something takes me far away,
Takes me to a better place.

Music makes me travel far,
Its my life, my saving grace.

When nothing seems to go my way,
There's just one thing that I will need.

All I want is to go away,
Music is my following creed.

Music keeps me straight and sane,
Music drives away my pain.
Music keeps me on my feet,
Music is all I'll ever need.

It infuses ideas in my brain,
And strength in weak limbs.
Life seems to go on without pain,
When I am filled with music.

Music keeps me straight and sane,
Music drives away my pain.
Music keeps me on my feet,
Music is all I'll ever need.



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Now playing: Nirvana - Come As You Are
via FoxyTunes

Friday, September 5, 2008

The Measures of Success.

How do you measure a mans success? Is it by the money he's made(Donald Trump) or by the money he's given away(Bill Gates)? Is it by the friends he made(Winston Churchill) or by his enemies(Osama Bin Laden)? Do you measure a successful person by the position he reached in the political system(George Bush) or by the means by which he brought the political system down(Che Guevara)?

What is essentially the gage of a person's success in our world? Does it go by his position in his religion(Pope Benedict) or by his ability to make his own religion(Ron Hubbard)? Does it in fact go by the number of lives he has saved(Louis Pasteur) or by the number of people he has killed(Adolf Hitler)? Do you consider his success as the people he has inspired while alive or after his death(Kurt Cobain)? Is it compared with the material things he procures(Madonna) or by his ability to denounce worldly things(Dalai Lama)? What exactly is the measure of success? Money? Power? Peace? Body Count? Fan Following? The ability to kill? The ability to save lives? What is it that we can measure for all of these people that has us viewing them as successful?

All the people I have quoted above are successful in their own right. But if you compare them, then they have succeeded in contradictory terms. This does cast a cloud on our criteria for considering a person to be successful isn't it? Some people argue that the success of a person is determined by the way in which he "exceeds expectations" in his field of choice. All of these people have truly exceeded expectations in their field of choice, but that does not make them successful by the other measures of life. Some people consider George Bush to be successful because he became president, but is he truly successful if the only reason he will be remembered for is a fool's war?

The truth is, there is no sure way to measure a person's success. Each person is considered successful for different reasons and we have to accept that success is a relative term. All I have considered here is success on an international scale, if we zoom in a bit and localize the consideration of success we find many more contradictions.

I have my own view of the measure of a mans success. I think a successful person should be counted on two things:

1> Was he happy with his own life?
2> Did he bring happiness and joy to those around him and those he touched?

The success of an individual is not measured on his personal achievements, but rather on what people around him think about him. If a person died happily without a regret in his mind, then that person truly lived a successful life and died a successful man. Only if you consider yourself to be successful can you be considered successful by other people.

So when I'm lying on my deathbed, anytime in the future, I shall know that I fulfilled the first requirement for success. But my friends will have to tell me how close I came to being truly successful by their own measures.




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Now playing: Nine Inch Nails - Every Day is Exactly the Same
via FoxyTunes

Thursday, September 4, 2008

Know what you do.

Which person is worse? The one who unintentionally causes pain to people or the one who knowingly causes pain? Some people argue that such a question doesn't exist. There can be no doubt in people's mind that the latter is more guilty. This is such a pre-formed opinion. Can't we examine this for a moment.

A person who unintentionally hurts someone, can never be in control of the amount of pain he causes someone. The level of hurt might be on a large scale and can possibly go out of control. Bridges might be burnt and what was might never be.

Whereas the person who knows who he is hurting and why, such a person can manage to control the level of pain caused. Maybe even reduce the pain caused to a more human level. I'm not considering such a sadistic person who can knowingly hurt someone just for the pleasure or joy of it. I'm just considering some person who has to hurt someone in the course of a natural decision(as mentioned in the last post).

What I'm trying to say is, under a number of circumstances, if you knowingly hurt someone, it might be the more humane thing to do. People might pass a judgement and say this write-up is just a means of allaying a guilty conscience. Maybe it is. But if you actually think about it, wouldn't knowing how and to what extent you hurt someone,

All I want to know is, does the knowledge of hurting someone help in the healing process more than the comfortable illusion of not hurting anyone?




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Now playing: Metallica - Fade To Black
via FoxyTunes

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Ordinary people.

You and I,
Keep searching for ourselves,
Hoping to find someone else,
Constantly.

We got high, we went to heaven,
With broken wings.
We could fly over them all,
As we sing.

We're just ordinary people,
You and me,
We will find another planet,
Eventually.

We don't need anything,
Don't have greed.
Worldly pleasures we didn't need,
At least not me.

We'll be gone and nothing will be left,
No one will see.
Everything will be dust, and it must,
Disappear, eventually.

We're just ordinary people,
You and me,
We will find another planet,
Eventually.

We thought we'd live forever,
Peacefully.
As our bones are growing old,
So slowly.

We're just ordinary people,
You and me,
We will find another planet,
Eventually.



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Now playing: Green Day - Holiday
via FoxyTunes

Monday, September 1, 2008

The Ripple Effect.

Whoever said that you can't make everyone happy was right. It's just impossible to take a decision at such a complex level that you can make all the people involved somehow content. Yes, people will grudgingly accept their temporary "happiness" with the action we take. But in reality not all people are going to be particularly thrilled about it. Many people have thought of this, and I'm sure have written more vastly about it, but few people think of the repercussions of this.

What I'm trying to say is, if we cant make everyone happy, we have to somehow get used to disappointing people. No one understands exactly how easily and on such a large scale we let down the people we know or the people we love. If we do manage to sit back and analyze the moments in which a small action has hurt someone we love unintentionally, then we will feel a great weight of guilt and sadness.

People claim they examine every angle of their decision before taking action on one course. But the truth is, we can never possibly and convincingly examine all the aspects of the ramifications of our action. I recently had some time to realize how many decisions I myself made at critical points of my life which must have hurt people close to me. But what really freaks me out is that I don't really feel the sense of guilt that should be approaching me menacingly.

Once I tried to fathom the depth of my actions, I had, for a moment, forgotten about what lies on the surface. I was so engrossed in following the ripples of that action that, for some time, I didn't realize that the decision I took at that time was made to the best of my knowledge. Either people don't have time to fully examine the ripples or certain circumstances keep us from doing so. Until people who we affected don't come and tell us how those decisions hurt them, we don't give them a second thought.

At this point I was okay. I was thinking I might feel bad. But I didn't. Thats what made me write this post. I have now realized that I can't help it. I have to take certain decisions which will end up hurting some people, and I can't help that. I cannot avoid it, nor can I evade it. It's the reaction to an action, and the people should realize the depth of thinking which goes into taking such an action. Maybe, if they did have my depth of thinking then they would realize that the effects are unavoidable and someone is bound to get hurt.

Thats life. You can't please everyone. You just need to make peace with the fact that you will somehow end up hurting someone, and you have to let it go. If you try and think about everyone while making big decisions, you will finally end up taking the wrong course of action. Trust me, I have done that more than once. Its better someone else be hurting than you yourself.



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Now playing: Danny Elfman - The Little Things
via FoxyTunes

I Knew it all along.

Complete clarity,
Comes on with a rush.

Your false sincerity,
Gives the final push.

Is this final destiny,
You were just a thief.

My heart and memories,
Comforts me in grief.

I always knew,
You never loved me so,
I killed myself,
As I let you go.
Burning with desire,
Yet you killed my fire.

All that I can see,
I never felt at ease,

Everything in me,
Begs for this release.

Let your hand go,
Now I can stand alone.

How will you ever know,
Most of this remains unknown.

I always knew,
You never loved me so,
I killed myself,
As I let you go.
Burning with desire,
Yet you killed my fire.



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Now playing: Silver - Feel d heat
via FoxyTunes

Saturday, August 30, 2008

Voices in your head.

There is more than you believe,
There's more than you can see.

All things that you ignore,
Everyday you fall a bit more.

This life can never defeat you,
There's more in life than you ever knew.

I can lead you to the saving light,
You only have to trust that I'm right.


You think I'm a little insane,
But I'm the one winning this game.

The inner voices in your head,
Feeding on your fear.
Try and listen to my voice instead,
I can keep your mind here.

The world keeps spinning in your head,
Filling you body with mortal dread.

I can see you losing your mind,
Even yourself you cant find.

There's a road leading far away,
All I can do is lead you today.

I can see you smiling back at me,
Maybe you can win back your sanity.


You think I'm a little insane,
But I'm the one winning this game.

The inner voices in your head,
Feeding on your fear.
Try and listen to my voice instead,
I can keep your mind here.



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Now playing: 3 Doors Down - Give it to Me
via FoxyTunes

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Just to be clear.

Why is everyone compelled to change my view? Every person I meet these days seems to have something to say to attempt to bend my point of view. Have we all become so conformist that we can't accept that someone might have a very different, if slightly twisted, view of everything else?

There are a number of interpretations of everything. But what flummoxed me was, people were more interested and debatable about my view of LOVE, not my more controversial view of Religion. Why is love so important to everyone? Why does everyone think that love has to be of inconsequential importance in my life?

I don't really want this to be another "love" rant, but I think it might just turn into one. Let me make this loud and clear, its not that I'm against love. Its not that I don't feel love. I'm not a freaking robot for gods sake, I'm a human being, I also have a heart and emotions which run my actions. But, this one feeling, which seems to have escaped my senses so far, is not something I consider of vital importance. Maybe, its because I haven't felt it till now. Or maybe its just ignorance. But the thing is, I fail to believe an emotion unless I experience it.

Yes, people think I have a cold heart, and yes, people will judge me only upon what I write. But once you meet me, you will know there's nothing wrong with me. I'm just a normal, happy human being who can get about life without all that mucking about in "love" and "marriage". But then again, maybe thats why all my relationships end up in shit. 'Cause the feeling of love is truly only from one side. And it sure aint me. Guess somewhere in my brain is a small sector that don't function properly.

Can I get a handicap discount on that?



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Now playing: The Doors - Riders On The Storm
via FoxyTunes

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

It's a Lifestyle choice.

I once read somewhere, that you can either be right or you can be happy. The two somehow don't go together in most situations. I recently made a monumental decision in my life for which I'm currently facing this dilemma.

How is it, that something which makes a person happy is rarely the right thing to do? Like chocolate as an example, it makes people happy, it keeps you preppy, and yet people consider it wrong(in a way). Why can't something that makes us happy, co-exist by being the right thing to do? Is it so important to be right that we willingly over-ride our own happiness to achieve it?

The question here is basically choosing to follow one of two things, either follow your heart and be happy or follow your brain and be right. Now in trivial matters(like chocolate) you can easily follow your brain and be right, albeit slightly let down. But what happens when this question arises in greater matters? Like matters of love. Or war. Or relationships. Or money? Is it actually possible to over-ride what your heart says and listen to your brain?

In matters of love, its your heart that rules the roost. There is hardly any second say in that matter. But in these cases, sometimes, a time comes to choose between two things, and that is when the problems begin. Very few people realize how inhumanly hard it is to not listen to what ones heart screams and to turn a deaf ear to those yells and instead think rationally and logically with your brain and take a decision, the "right" decision, apparently. What happens to the cries of the heart then? Do they slowly die out or do they stay at war with the brain until the heart wins? I'll let you know as soon as I find out.

It's interesting to see how many people can sacrifice their own happiness just to be right. I might fall under that category, but then again, I feel that I might as well be wrong and happy than being sad and "right". As yourself this, what would you choose? Is your self-affirmation more important that self-fulfillment? Can you actually be comfortable being right and sad over happiness? You wouldn't know how hard it is to choose until you are faced with the situation yourself.

I faced it. I made my choice. I made the "right" choice. Now only time will tell if I can stick to it. And no one can know if it was correct.


"I'd far rather be happy than right any day." said Slartibartfast.
"And are you?" asked Arthur.
"No. That's where it all falls down, of course."
"Pity," replied Arthur, with sympathy, "It sounded like quite a good lifestyle otherwise."

-The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy.



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Now playing: Metallica - Nothing Else Matters (Acous.)
via FoxyTunes

Monday, August 25, 2008

Love will save me.

I live my life all alone,
I keep singing this one song.

I wait for her to come,
I keep hoping for the one.

I hold on this empty hope,
Watch it all go up in smoke.

The time keeps moving on,
Maybe she's already come and gone.

Oh, love of my life,
Can you come and make it all clear,
Pull out this hurting knife,
I cant wait till you get here.
Please come and save me,
I'm my own worst enemy.

I walk on this empty road,
Alone I carry this heavy load.

This weight keeps pulling me down,
Nothing of help to be found.

Please help me find a way,
Please keep me from going astray.

Take me to the right line,
Stand right here, say you're mine.

Oh, love of my life,
Can you come and make it all clear,
Pull out this hurting knife,
I cant wait till you get here.
Please come and save me,
I'm my own worst enemy.

The world's a roller coaster,
And just now I find,
As the end draws closer,
I cant heal this broken mind.

Oh, love of my life,
Can you come and make it all clear,
Pull out this hurting knife,
I cant wait till you get here.
Please come and save me,
I'm my own worst enemy.

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Now playing: Red Hot Chilli Peppers - I Like Dirt
via FoxyTunes

Sunday, August 24, 2008

Build Yourself.

Was it so hard to be yourself,
That you tried to be someone else.

Have you left yourself so far,
That you forgot who you are.

Have you lost the real you,
Where is the one that everyone knew.

You tried to fill your empty heart,
Till all you had fell apart.

All your pieces on the ground,
And all the pieces on the shelf,
Put together all you've found,
Pick it all up and build yourself.

Was it so hard to be alone,
That you became an unknown.

Were you too blind to see,
All that you meant to me.

Now we both drifted so far apart,
I cant even see the start.

All that you lost you've never know,
Until its too late to not let go.

All your pieces on the ground,
And all the pieces on the shelf,
Put together all you've found,
Pick it all up and build yourself.

I'll help you anyway I can,
I'll always lend a helping hand.
Help you pick up all thats here,
Help remake what you were.

All your pieces on the ground,
And all the pieces on the shelf,
Put together all you've found,
Pick it all up and build yourself.


Edit: I wrote this song ages back. On the 11th actually. This is one of the five songs I wrote that day which I'm hoarding and slowly publishing. The song itself is directed to people who've lost sight of what they once were due to insurmountable circumstances. The last stanza before the last chorus is directed towards everyone that I know or have known. Its my belief to not hold a grudge and always help out people. Even the friendships ended and the friendships existing. In today's world I find this song very important.

P.S.> I had thought of naming this song Make Yourself instead of Build Yourself, but Incubus beat me to that name so I guess I can't use it... can I?


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Now playing: Kasabian - By My Side
via FoxyTunes

Saturday, August 23, 2008

Right Now.

This is my true best moment,
All I need is to flash a smile.

Ill be the one they all want to be,
Watch them flock to me in single file.

And I need keep it tight,
I need to keep them in the game.

Keeping them tied up with me,
Wishing they could share the fame.

Nothing can ever take me down,
No one will ever break me now,
Give me this moment,
I'll make it mine, Right Now.

Money doesn't bring me joy,
It just helps along the way.

Nothing can break this down,
This time won't slip away.

What they fear is what I feel,
Keep pumping adrenaline.

The way I play, the songs I sing,
The reason why I wear this grin.

Nothing can ever take me down,
No one will ever break me now,
Give me this moment,
I'll make it mine, Right Now.



P.S.>This is the song that I made with my friend Aniket Patni. As in, he made the tune and I just jotted down these lyrics. The whole lyrics thing took shape well and this isn't as yet the finished version. But I feel the lyrics fit the feel of the song very well. Now all we need is a good vocalist to record the song with us.

Btw, the tune is on his Soundclick page, or better still Listen to it here


P.S.S.> Our first song Anik? Anvil is on its way.

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Now playing: Azoth - Right Now
via FoxyTunes

Friday, August 22, 2008

The Best Laid Plans.

How do, the best laid plans, fall apart? No matter what we try, or how hard we try... what we have planned out will always somehow, almost miraculously, get deviated from the planned path. There's no explanation for it. Apart from the fact that maybe whoever wrote the fates was an author of the comedy-suspense genre.

I for one, am a very calculative guy. Extremely so. I always make sure of what can go wrong and take my course of action. I rarely leave anything up to chance, some people have even called me too calculative, albeit these people are my closest friends, they are the only ones who truly know how much goes on in my cerebral area. I take pride in being calculative and at the same time looking impulsive, its fun to make a fool of the world. But, then again, it has its flaws. A wise man once said; you can never fool some people all the time, but you can fool all the people some of the time. There are times when this goes horribly wrong.

Yes, I do manage to fool most of the people in some way, its part of the reason almost any kind of person feels comfortable with me. I have a weird ability to gain trust of any person, and at last count I haven't broken anyone's trust. I somehow manage to be a different person with every person I meet, yea I know, it sounds pathetic, even repulsive to some, but thats how it happens to be. The problem with this course of action is, somewhere down the line, I lost sight of who or what I really was. It wasn't so much of a problem if you look at it from my point of view, if I don't quite remember what I was like earlier, I must not have been such an interesting fellow, see what I mean? Not so much of a loss, is it? I think so. But some people keep trying to convince me otherwise.

People keep harping that if I'm so calculative then one day my plans will fall on me. The weight of my own psyche will crush me. "The best laid plans" will count for null. Something today made me think I keep pushing to hard and the fateful day quickly approaches.

Ah well, can't really trust what I'm saying can you? Maybe its just another one of my mind games. Maybe not.

Think about it.



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Now playing: Green Day - Boulevard Of Broken Dreams
via FoxyTunes